Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
this beer tastes like vomit already
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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