i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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