he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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