Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
