You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
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