Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
