oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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