I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
my poor anus
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
