I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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