you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
