And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm jealous of your bromance
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
