If that was your dad, he is hot
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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