You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She just used a chaser for red wine.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
