He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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