you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
