i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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