I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
