it's not cheating when I paid for it
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
