I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Randomize
