Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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