So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
