some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
