wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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