So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
