You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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