I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
