Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
