Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
