i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
