was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize