whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize