He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
