Farmville is her only friend.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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