Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
