Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
