At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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