After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
