come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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