we have pet lesbian snakes
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
