Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
