So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
