Well douche your snatch and let's go!
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
