why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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