as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
