good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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