how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize