oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
