you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
