before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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