hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
