Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Houston, we have a squirter
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
