i can't believe i had my finger in that
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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