Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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