come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I have aggressive nipples.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
