I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
