god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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