Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
