Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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