Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
