So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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