moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
