bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
