i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize