Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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