I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
it hurts more in the daytime
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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