The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
