My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
If that was your dad, he is hot
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm like, not good at living.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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