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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.

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• (562): View more from California

  He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome

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• (516): View more from New York

  We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom

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• (407): View more from Florida

  While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.

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• (936): View more from Texas

  You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.

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