Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
