we're blogging at a bar
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
