Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
