I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
