i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
