then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
PANTIES FOUND
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