Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
