just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
